it’s been a long, long time…

It’s been a long time…too long. So much to do in the day and not enough time to do it. That’s how I feel lately. Completely taken from the important things–the things that eternally matter. Is it not amazing how so easily things can creep in and distract us from the eternal presence of God. Working 40 hours a week and tired…too much television…waking up late in the morning…and the infamous surfing the web…and many other things–I’m sure you can think of many too.

But are these things too important to hear Him say at the end, “Depart from me, I never knew you.” What, He never knew me?

But I went to church–I was a good person–I tithed my 10%–I prayed for so and so and they were healed…and yet I never spent time with Him so that He would know me–Him to know my weaknesses–to know my heart–to know my sin. To know the intimacy of the Lord. He desires nothing more than to know me.

So what now?? I am boggled down with this and that– and time has me captured…the endless cycle of the day continue to wrap its tentacles around my spirit and squish the life of God out of me. I am sure you can relate.

Does He really speak in the silence? Can I quiet myself enough to hear Him? Can I hold back the distractions? My arms reach out to try and hold them back…they are too strong and once again I get sucked in to the things of the day.

Does time stop? Only at 2 am this morning…time stopped for an hour and I was given one extra hour today to make it right. One extra hour for one day–one day only to make it right. I cannot run anymore. I must turn into the wind that pushes me further and further away from Him.

Why oh why do I exist? Is there purpose? I wish I had all the answers…what is the purpose of this–and why am I here–is it not to do? or is it just to be?

The world continues to darken with each day…and the hole of blackness tries to suck the life of His Spirit within me.

Romans 1:16-17
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. NKJV

The Gospel IS the power of God to salvation. It is the glue and instrument of His grace.

When my hands slip from the Gospel to the worries of the day–I have fallen–fallen to the depths of darkness and I am unable to see– to see the Light of His Gospel…the Power of God to save me from myself. Why can I not just open the Bible each day…why do I choose not to hear Him–why do I choose not to lean in and listen–to be silent. The day fills me with distractions. I am no warrior but a failure…going from day to day being swayed with each wind that blows my heart off course…

to be free from the chains of the day is my prayer… to know that the Gospel IS the power to salvation– my salvation.

shalom.

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