Buzzings and Hummings

hummingszGood Morning dear friends in Christ!

Lately I have been wrestling with just being quiet before the Lord. It is so hard to just rest when I hear the constant “buzz” of life around me. For some days I have thought to of been forgotten and of no use in the world because I have not found a job yet. Yet, is not the kingdom of God upside down? And is my meaning in life forged by the job I do? What man sees as the norm God does not. God inverts the impossibilities to make them possibilities in Him. So hard to embrace when the world constantly nags at you to “get a job–get any job–take the first thing that comes along”–when I know that I cannot just pursue any thing and be in His will–and yet my flesh gnaws at me to “hurry and rush” to the next thing. Yet Jesus has made this time for me to seek Him–and yet day after day my flesh strives while I sit at the computer searching and searching for employment–only to find absolutely nothing. By eventide I am exhausted and hopeless…with questions of “why” and “are You near” as I cry out to Him with desperation. I have only exhausted myself by my own means and have forgotten that He is the strength of my life.

This morning I was reading Oswald Chambers and in the Bible about the woman who anointed Jesus with her expensive perfume. I read how the disciples thought her act to be wasteful and that her perfume could of been given to the poor. Jesus responded to them saying that she had done a good thing. Here is what Oswald Chambers says for today…

If what we call love doesn’t take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love.

Have you ever been driven to do something for God not because you felt that it was useful or your duty to do so, or that there was anything in it for you, but simply because you love Him? Have you ever realized that you can give things to God that are of value to Him? Or are you just sitting around daydreaming about the greatness of His redemption, while neglecting all the things you could be doing for Him? I’m not referring to works which could be regarded as divine and miraculous, but ordinary, simple human things— things which would be evidence to God that you are totally surrendered to Him. Have you ever created what Mary of Bethany created in the heart of the Lord Jesus? “She has done a good work for Me.”

There are times when it seems as if God watches to see if we will give Him even small gifts of surrender, just to show how genuine our love is for Him. To be surrendered to God is of more value than our personal holiness. Concern over our personal holiness causes us to focus our eyes on ourselves, and we become overly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, out of fear of offending God. “. . . but perfect love casts out fear . . .” once we are surrendered to God ( 1 John 4:18 ). We should quit asking ourselves, “Am I of any use?” and accept the truth that we really are not of much use to Him. The issue is never of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. Once we are totally surrendered to God, He will work through us all the time.

My thoughts have been that I am not of any use–even now my heart sinks inside. But I have to keep remembering that I am of value to Jesus and to surrender to His will even if it seems backwards to the human hums and buzzes of the norm of the world…I am to be different–surrendered–to His will soley. To not be hurried by the characteristics of Martha–but to embrace sitting at the Master’s feet and listening–to be a Mary. And if He is saying “REST”–then I must rest…*sigh

My father-in-law once said to my husband and I… “Just Let The World Go By”

Oh Lord Jesus, help me this day to embrace Your will and not be downcast–but to just let the world go by–with the peace of knowing that my heart is right with You…

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