Well I am going to try real hard to keep this blog up to date with my thoughts and things I experience from day to day…as well as other burdens that may arise.
One thing I know–that hymn that sings, “He’s still workin’ on me” is at the forefront of my mind this evening as I look back at yesterday.
So I will start at the beginning to give a solid picture of my day yesterday. I got in my car to go off to work and my husband and I have, I guess, this ritual in the morning. He walks me to my car–gives me a kiss and says a few words before I go and we pray as led. Well this particular day we were talking and he got real serious and says–“it is my prayer that you face no trials today–but if you do–know that God is with you and I am praying for you and don’t get bent out of shape.” Right at that moment I knew he was prophesying of the kind of day I was going to have. I drove off and said a quick prayer asking for God’s help fully aware –but unsure how the day would unfold but fully desiring to bring all thoughts into His subjection.
You know it’s funny–in college my best friend and I would religiously in the mornings before we would go off to our classes say to one another as we were leaving the apartment– “you are going to have a good day!” with a big smile in return. You know, it really set the tone for the day.
But what happens when you are given the opposite information–kind of like Mission Impossible–these are the things that will take place to day–and it is up to you how you are going to handle them. But don’t worry–God is there on your side. Okay, so I know that I could have a good day if I just respond to the situation the right way–otherwise it’s down the hill from there and a long walk back up the hill.
Anyway, just as hubby said–it started right away — and I am so thankful that the Lord so cares about me to continue to work the dirt out of my character–that my strength comes in quietness. I am not going to get into the logistics of what happened (unless you desire to know) to cause me to take offense because the important thing is that I responded wrongly–even though I was given prior covert information which Jesus does not always share with us– and I am honored that He did share–but I still failed. So I actually am learning 2 things out of this.
1. Not to take offense–this is the main one
2. I don’t need to know everything…because it doesn’t help me.
The second one I am realizing as I write this. You see, I have an incessant need to know everything–what’s going on– I want a top to bottom run down on everything that involves me–pretty selfish-eh? But just because I was given knowledge of something–it sure didn’t save my bacon when the trial came– I still acted out in the flesh–and Jesus was there to pick me up. Through that trial at work, I am realizing that it is not what I know that will help me through day to day situations but it is Who I know and Him living through me that brings peace in the midst of clamour.
It truly is amazing these days because we all at one time or another have gotten caught up in the prophectic–dreams–visions and have wanted to know this and that about our lives. But you know what–did it really help when it came down to your character in Christ? It sure hasn’t helped me. Jesus desires that we reflect His character–not His power. It is only through reflecting the character of our Saviour that there is power–not the other way around.
So I goofed up my day at work and when I got home I shared it with my husband and we talked about offense. But the test was not over–the day was not over…the test continued–Jesus gave me another chance to respond…
It seemed that I either ate something that upset my stomach or God just allowed my stomach to become upset. It doesn’t matter what it was–what matters is the outcome. When I got ready to sleep I heard a reverburating sound coming from outside– it was bass sound from music. We live in a trailer so our walls are thin. So I sat on the bed thinking that this sound will soon pass–everyone is going to bed in our neighborhood–they’ll turn the tv off soon. The more I sat there–the more the bass noise began to agitate my stomach. I became a little testy and put my coat on and headed for the door. Hubby looked at me and said–“no–just wait”. Right then I ran to the bathroom–well it seems I couldn’t find out who was playing the music after all because I was stuck on the toilet (pardon me for being too lucid here). But you know, sometimes God deals with our hearts in the strangest places–and that’s okay. So I reckoned in my heart to let it go and just then hubby says “let’s go check it out”. So we put our coats on and started walking toward the sound of the reverberating bass. We stopped in front of our neighbors house and were embarassed (well at least I was)–the one couple we didn’t imagine was the couple playing their music too loud. I looked at hubby and asked if we should let them know how loud it is. He said “no-leave it alone.”
You have to understand –growing up– I hated the word “no”. My parents used to tell me when I was younger that I needed to be a lawyer because everytime I heard the word “no” I would make a case out of it and reason my way to the word “yes”. This is very bad–by the way. So to hear the word “no” come from my husband twice within 15 minutes was very hard for me. But I obliged and walked back into the house. Notice that I obliged but did not reckon or make peace in my heart about the matter…the test was still present.
Hubby went to bed and I stayed up with major pains in my stomach. I was not only unsettled in my stomach but I was also unsettled in my spirit with this noise –not to mention failing earlier in the day when I took offense toward a co-worker who doesn’t even know Jesus when I shouldn’t of. So here again I was beginning to take offense–but I wanted to also do the right thing. And so I sat quietly at the other end of the house and prayed for this couple. Mostly I prayed that they would turn their music off (selfish prayers)–but also asked for God’s help in every area of my being that was being tested. Do you know how hard it is not to get testy when you aren’t feeling good? wow–it’s a chore. But it was a humbling experience. And by the end of my system getting rid of all the garbage that was in me and sitting on the toilet for an hour…I was humbled and just wanted to go to bed. The music was still playing–but I had let that go–I just needed some sleep– I was no longer concerned about other people’s business or entertainment for that matter–the music continued a little while longer and then stopped.
God did not answer my prayer– I had to wade through it– He allowed the music to be played until I was at peace in my heart with the matter. And even though I did nothing about it–like letting them know their music was a bit to high–I was at peace in my spirit– and in the end God handled the matter and not me.
So for that, I am thankful for the humbling experience and relate my being sick to my stomach with being sick spiritually. And I am thankful that “He’s still workin’ on me…”
I leave you with this passage…
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.KJV
He’s still working on me
To make me what I need to be
It took him just a week to make the moon and stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
‘Cause He’s still workin’ on me
There really ought to be a sign upon my heart
Don’t judge him yet, there’s an unfinished part
But I’ll be better just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master’s loving hands
In the mirror of His word
Reflections that I see
Makes me wonder why He never gave up on me
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He’s the potter; I’m the clay
Yet, O Lord , you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8